Dating can be very confusing in most cases. Now add in online dating, hookup culture, lesbian dating apps, texting, and an epidemic and you have the perfect recipe for a pretty tricky situation. But fear not – if you dare to text the mega-hottie you dated, we’re here to give you some proven dating advice – just like your best friend would. Without further ado, here are our top dating tips for when it comes to texting your lesbian crush.
Texting Tips for Lesbian Singles – Communicate Successfully
Use dating sites to meet women
OK Good. You have been matched with your flame or their contact is already stored in your cell phone the old-fashioned way (or you asked them for their phone number or found it out through someone else). A perfect website to meet lesbian woman is PinkCupid. The women there are looking for serious relationships.
The chat feature on dating sites is the perfect way to practice the (not quite so) subtle art of writing to impress other women. There are dating sites out there to suit every type of person – and we’ve already reviewed and recommended many of these platforms.
Additionally, if you’re open to dating a wider range of great singles from the LGBTQ + community, check out our recommendations for dating sites for bi, trans, and queer singles.
When you connect through text messaging and online dating, you want to make yourself memorable – but don’t have to reinvent the wheel. If you’re a little weird in private, come up with something charmingly silly to start the conversation.
If you’re more of a straight forward guy, tell her she looks really great and that you’d like to get to know her better. The trick is not to take yourself too seriously, but still be authentic to yourself.
Ask her personal questions
While this may be the most obvious piece of advice in dating, it needs to be repeated because so many singles find it difficult to follow.
Why? Do you want to let your loved one know that you are interested in her? It’s that simple – ask her personal questions! And then listen without trying to outdo or impress. Did you master that? Congratulations, you are already vastly superior to most of your competitors.
Ask her which pronouns she prefers
… and then use this. This can feel very uncomfortable for newcomers to the lesbian and queer community due to the fear of offending someone. But we are living in the year 2021 and it is important to address people as they feel they are most likely to be seen.
What better way to ask questions than via text message? It is true that when someone defines themselves as a lesbian, they likely identify with “you” – but not necessarily. Just double-check so you don’t risk alienating someone you like.
Be honest about your current situation
Are you poly Bi? Are you looking for something serious? Or maybe just after an affair? Is this your first time meeting a woman? Are you moving to a new city soon? Do you like her but are going through a breakup with your ex?
Communicate as you get to know where you stand mentally and emotionally so as not to unintentionally mislead the other person.
This is difficult for many of us because you may have to accept that she is at a different point in life than you are. The disappointment that comes with it could be difficult to deal with. But ultimately, you want to meet someone who suits you and lay the foundation for a healthy relationship.
How often should I text?
Many counseling blogs will tell you not to text too much because it can overwhelm your crush. Most blogs also recommend avoiding long conversations via text messages. While we agree that you should definitely keep an eye out for these patterns of behavior (please don’t message anyone!), We also know that people and situations are different.
For example, you might be far apart and text messaging is the best way for you to start the spark and get to know each other. Another possible scenario is that your crush might prefer texting to talking on the phone or meeting instantly.
Regardless, the ultimate goal should be to go on a date, right?
So don’t be afraid to have a virtual conversation – the most important thing is to keep an eye on the general mood. Pay attention to the clues to better understand the person you are talking to. Try to arrange a meeting sooner rather than later.
Know when not to text
When things are new and exciting it can be extremely tempting to just do it. To text. Everything. The. Whole. Time. If you are not careful, lesbian relationships in particular can become very intense very quickly and completely take over you.
We’re not a fan of games, but we know that being emotionally and physically available to your new flame day and night is not a good start to your future relationship. Have fun, be excited, be a little obsessed – but don’t get lost.
If you’ve texted a lot and are having a hard time finding an end, write, “I have to go to work, but I’ll write to you later” or “I have a big day ahead of me. I wish I could stay up and text you, but I really need some sleep. ”Or our personal favorite:“ It’s so hard to stop texting, so I put my phone down and go (fill that with the activity of your choice out).”
Set early texting limits
This point follows on from the previous one. It doesn’t matter whether you set limits for each other or just for yourself – but set them.
These limits can look like this:
- I won’t answer while I’m at work, out with friends, at the gym, etc.
- I have to prioritize my sleep to make sure I’m at my best, so I’ll be putting my phone down after XYZ.
- I make sure that I keep making time for my favorite hobbies.
We’re not saying you should never write a message during these times (a loving message during your work break can be super cute), but save the lengthy conversations for a time when you have nothing important to do. And remember, a person who has drive and passion for their friends, ventures, and careers is super sexy.
Encourage them before big events
Are you facing an exam? A big meeting? An appointment with the doctor she told you about?
Not only does this show that you are thinking about her, but also that you remember and care about what is going on in her life.
It also shows that you are able to support them. The right support message at the right time can get you into the position of a potential partner very quickly.
Send a message to follow up and thank her for the great time
This also applies if you are not having a private conversation. If she’s at a meeting, planning a trip with friends, or you had a private date, wait until the next day and thank her. Not only will this set you apart from other potential admirers, but it will also give you the opportunity to start a conversation.
A little flirting is always good – let her know she was the best part of the meeting for you.
We hope you found these texting tips useful and that you add them to your repertoire as you discover the lesbian dating scene.